Earth is Finally Dominated
by Fancypants66
Summary: After a rather nasty attack, Zim gets some help from some...unlikely candidates...who wish to bury the hatchet and collaborate. Owing to the fact that I've little frame of reference, I took the liberty of fabricating some stuff about the attack areas.
1. Attacked!

Earth is finally conquered

By Fancypants 66

Chapter One

Note- Normally, I don't care much for Invader Zim, but alas, my sense of better judgment says that I shouldn't write any more mean things lest I get flamed again, so here goes. This is a hopeful truce betwixt Zim fans and Kaput and Zösky fans.

It was another dawn on Earth and Zim was wrapping his surveillance hours up for the night.

"Soon" he mused to Gir, "it will be my greatest hour. I'll conquer this miserable little dust ball for the Irken Empire and my almighty Tallers!"

All of a sudden, an explosion hit the house/base and Zim was knocked down rather badly onto the floor of his underground lair. He ran up the stairs to try to get to his ship's docking bay.

"Gir!" he yelled. "Get the ship ready!"

The transmission of Gir came on and replied "The alien bunny's pulled my head off. Tee-hee! The sparklies are coming out of my neck—bzzt! Malfunction. Malfunction. Shutting down". With that, another explosion, this time coming from his ship's docking bay, and Gir's burnt off head bouncing down the stairs.

Zim knew that he couldn't get to his ship now, so he tried to run for the door, only to find that it had been blasted by some horrible force!

With that, two figures appeared in front of the doorway, a fat and short figure, and a tall, thin one. Zim recognized these two: Kaput and Zösky. The so called "Ultimate Obliterators", the ones who had destroyed so many world orders. They had escaped the Irkens so many times

"Aaargh! You two! What are YOU doing here!" demanded Zim in a fury.

The fat one named Kaput yelled "Shaddup, ya pile of crud!"

"Kaput, let me handle this. You there, Earth creature!" said Zösky. "Do...you...understand...us?" he said as though he thought Zim was some sort of child.

"I understand you perfectly, and I know who you are. You are Kaput and Zösky, the so-called "Ultimate Obliterators", and you're the ones who have been going around messing up the planets."

"Yes, you could say that, but now, WE have control of this planet!" said Zösky in a haughty voice.

"No, you don't. I do!" said Zim in a cross voice…

At this point, I assume that you must be pretty cross because of the fact that Gir died. Fear not, it all comes into perspective soon. I promise. No deaths.

_Fin._


	2. Partners in crime

Earth is finally conquered

By Fancypants 66

Chapter Two

I told you that it would get better, and it will…

"I think that we know you. Zim, is it?" asked Zösky.

"That's me!" said Zim. "What's it to you, you walking hot-dog?"

"WHY, YOU LITTLE…" Zösky started, but then realized what was going on. If he and Kaput would conquer the Earth, they would need a little assistance. Impudent thought he was, Zim knew this world much better than Kaput and he did. So he started as sweetly as possible. "I mean, uh, we need a bit of help. I see now that you know who we are, so I'll get straight to the point: each of us knows who the other is and we each know what the other wants to do; conquer Earth. We can help you with that, but only if you help us."

"A wise choice assisting the noble Irken Empire, creature." said Zim in a lofty voice. "You shall be rewarded in a-wait, what's in it for you?" he stopped abruptly.

"We just want to conquer the Earth" said Kaput. "That and a taste of the spoils. Fair enough, maggot? I'm sorry; I can't stop calling people 'maggot'"

"OK, but fix my robot first" said Zim.

"Done deal" said Zösky. "That's really Kaput's department. He's a whiz with technology"

"Really?" asked Zim. "Funny, if he's so good with technology, I'd have expected him to make a hair styling machine for his weird looking cowlick-thing"

"OK, now he's starting to make me mad!" yelled Kaput.

"Take it easy, Kaput." said Zösky, with a dry smile on his face. "That's no way to behave with our…new partner."

And with that, the four of them (including the now repaired Gir) put their hands in a bunch; "Break!"

I told you it would get better… and it will! But how will the Tallest take this news? I guess you'll find out, won't you?


	3. Back to Irken

Earth is finally conquered

By Fancypants 66

Chapter Three

I hope that you like this part…

With the newfound team working together, the four of them then decided to tell the Tallest about this new alliance with two of the galaxy's greatest marauders, as sadly, the transmitters were destroyed in the skirmish. At that moment, Zim and Zösky worked with Kaput and Gir to fuse the ships together and fly back to Irken to notify the Tallest.

Meanwhile, back in the throne room of the Tallest, the Tallest were craftily discussing their new plans…and of course, how to rid themselves of Zim once and for all.

"Do you suppose that he made a dent yet?" asked the Purple one.

"Nope, he couldn't make a dent in aluminum wrapping, let alone a world order!" said the Red one shrewdly.

With that, the doors opened and in stepped Zim, accompanied by the obliterators themselves.

"Well, Zim, I'm not surprised" said the Purple one. "You come back empty handed and— HOLY SMOKES!" he suddenly screamed. "IT'S THEM!" he screeched, pointing a clawed hand at Kaput and Zösky. "GUARDS! GUARDS!"

"No, no, please, your almighty Tallest! Relax! I formed an alliance with these two. They've agreed to help us out in conquering Earth!"

"But what do they want!" whimpered the Purple one.

"Just a cut of the spoils, is all" said Kaput in his oiliest voice.

And now…a change of events, coming very soon.


	4. Doom!

Earth is finally conquered

By Fancypants 66

Chapter Four

This is the kicker…I promise.

With the truce going on, the four decided to head back to Earth to go and amass all the world leaders. They would wipe them out and that means all of them.

"I can't wait until we finally get to slaughter a few of those leaders; I been getting rusty!" said Kaput.

The team raced back to Earth, talking about their previous exploits, which went something like:

"You know, I once got control of Mars and nearly destroyed Earth!" said Zim loftily. "I also changed the past, and I hypnotized people with a growth on my skin!"

"Well, we destroyed a few world orders in our sectors, and we made some species extinct for good" said Kaput. "We even got to make huge robots of ourselves that stomped out a fair little number of villages on a planet!"

"But just think, we can work together and take down those leaders. Doom to them. DOOOM, I SAY!" screeched Zim.

(three guesses who says this) "I'm gonna sing the Doom song now. Doom doom doom doom doom do-doom doom doom! Doom doom doom…"

"Is he always like that?" asked Zösky in a bored voice.

"You have no idea." said Zim.

In the months to come, the bunch was ready and revved up to go attack the League of United Nations!

As soon as I've rested for the night and felt better in my neck, I'll type the rest!


	5. The plans

Earth is finally conquered

By Fancypants 66

Chapter Five

The new edge to the story!

Several months after Zim spoke with the almighty Tallest, he was on his way back to Earth to go and "take care" of the World Leaders with the assistance of Kaput and Zösky. The plan was simple. It would work only if each did his part. Go into the building disguised as children; they were small enough to look the part, and sneak into the quarters of the Leaders, then… DESTROY!

With the plans ready to go and everyone equipped with the requisites for "the plan", everyone was raving for an attack. Kaput landed the ship in an old warehouse not far from the League of United Nations building, and the four soon changed into their disguises.

Zim dressed up in his usual "green boy" attire. Kaput wore a pair of shorts with a T-shirt depicting a clothed lizard on a skateboard, and Zösky, who was insanely irate at having to dress in such a way, dressed up in a little frilly dress with his antennae tied in a knot to resemble a bow. Gir was stationed outside the gates to check for anyone who could endanger the plan.

"The plan is simple" explained Zösky. "We go inside the building disguised as tourists, we sneak past the cameras, we go into the room with the leaders in it, and _dominate_."

"But what if the cameras see us?" asked Kaput.

"They won't because Gir is outside and he will sneak into the ventilation shafts to find his way into the control room and take out the cameras!" said Zim. "We split up and we go look for the leaders. Kaput, it will be your job to take out any security guards who get in the way"

"AWRIGHT! Slaughtering time!"

"Shh, not so loud, you fool; you will give us away!" hissed Zösky.

Sounds good, no? Well, tune in next time, 'cause I gotta go now.


	6. Plans take flight!

Earth is finally conquered

By Fancypants 66

Chapter Six

With the group going in, the plan was oncoming. Kaput went into the group and used an ancient Getaway vanishing-and-reappearing-somewhere-else technique while Zim went into the crowds and made a diversion by feigning a broken arm, and with that, Zösky sneaked into the vent system to go into the security quarters to go and knock out the guards. He did this with great relish in that after so many months of abstinence from violence of any sort, he could finally do something about it. After knocking out all of the guards and making look as though it were an accident.

Zim went away with the crowd when they were taking him to a hospital. The plan was failing! With that, Kaput immediately did the most disgusting and hazardous thing that he could possibly do to save his compatriot, he took out a vial from his pocket containing the Flabyurk, a chemical known for its mind-numbing properties from an alien species known as the Byurks and downed it immediately. He thought that it tasted good at first but then he felt nauseated and sick as he had never before. He farted. Loud and long and clear, creating a huge (and rather smelly) cloud of gas which blinded all the nearby people, and afterwards Zim ran away from the gas cloud, so grateful to the laws of evolution that his species had no nose. When the gas cleared, Zim ran off taking Kaput with him. The two stopped in a corner hidden from all other humans.

"Kaput, are you all right?" asked Zim, concerned about someone else for the first time in his life.

"Duh, wh-wh-who's K-Ka-Ka-Ka-Kaput? I'm-I'm-I'm-I'm J-J-Jack!" Kaput stuttered.

"SNAP OUT OF IT, MAN!" screeched Zim, slapping him on the head very hard. This woke Kaput up at once.

"What-what's up?" asked Kaput

"Come on! Hurry up and help me with the plan!" said Zim.

I need to rest for a while before going any further in the story.


	7. Contact

Earth is finally conquered

By Fancypants 66

Chapter Seven

Kaput and Zim were on their way to the ventilation shaft where Zösky had wrangled every last guard and waited eagerly for the signal. Kaput and Zim now waited on tiptoes for signs from Zösky that it had gone well.

Within the minutes, Kaput and Zim sneaked off to the bathroom and locked themselves in so as to keep unwelcome company out. Then Kaput pulled his comlink out of his pocket, which he'd forgotten to turn on to begin with. It fizzed and crackled before finally giving sound.

"Kap-We-I-I-I-have,-guards,-tell-'im-to hurry!" it sounded.

But as it was sounding, the door was being unlocked. The janitor! He was unlocking the door and opened it. Zim and Kaput were gone.

The two climbed into the vent and followed Zösky's instructions exactly. Within the next ten minutes, the two inched their way into the control room.

"The two of you have GOT to hurry up next time!" Zösky said impatiently.

"YOU try eating flabyurk and gassing yourself sore and THEN talk to me about hurry!" yelled Kaput.

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" yelled Zim. "FOR PETE'S SAKE, YOU SOUND LIKE A MARRIED COUPLE!" He panted for a few seconds and then said coolly, "We need a plan. I checked the schedules and the leaders are going into the main conference hall with thirty minutes. If we hurry, and sneak into the grates while there's time, we can make it in!"

"Go on." said Kaput in perhaps his most oily voice yet.

"I think I know what he's saying." Zösky said. "We can sneak into the grate and make it into the airways, then go into the armory while the guards there are on their break. We take what weapons we can and make it back into the grate. We go and get Gir to come with us. There'll be two guards there, we knock them out. We wait for some time in the grate until all of the leaders are there and then we have an audience with the leaders!"

"Wow" said Zim quietly. "I was going to suggest that we go through the pipes, but I like your plan better"

And so they made their plans come true…


	8. In the room

Earth is finally conquered

By Fancypants 66

Chapter Eight

Within the next five minutes, the group put their plans to action. They made it through a labyrinth of twists and turns, but finally made it to the conference room.

It was stark empty, save for a number of tables and a group of sleeping guards.

Those guards would be fairly easy to knock out, thought Zösky as he read the map for a possible clue to the situation's resolution.

This would be as easy as their conquest of the planet with the Ice King. They convinced the Ice King that they were repairmen and melted the king. Finally, though, they lost power after they melted the entire populace.

This should NOT end like that, Kaput thought…


	9. The Great Capture

Earth is finally conquered

By Fancypants 66

Chapter Nine

As Kaput made his way discretely into the hallways, he made doubly sure that no guards would follow him. He slowly tiptoed to the office of none other than President of the United States. Knowing that he must take it from there incognito, Kaput hid beneath the desk hastily as he heard shuffling footsteps approaching the office.

It was none other than the President and he was making his way to the desk!

As the President was walking towards the desk, he suddenly turned about face and left the room. _But why,_ Kaput wondered, _would he leave when there was no threat or anything wrong with the room?_ Kaput didn't have a second more to think of an answer to that question and ran as fast as he could out the door.

As he made his way to the audience chamber, he took out the comlink and told Zim and Zösky to hurry up and meet him there hidden under one of the desks.

As soon as those two made it in, Zösky saw his way clear to formulate a plan:

Zim had taken sufficient amounts of guns from the armory and so there was no problem with weaponry, so he would pass a gun to Zösky, and both would wait behind the doors, while Kaput would have them all at gunpoint. Gir would act as pickpocket, taking what valuables he could from the leaders and then binding them tight so that they could not escape.

The world leaders came in and the plan worked beautifully.

The end is nigh.


End file.
